ntang (ntang) wrote,

  • Music:

So much to say, so little time... [w] [k] [r] [m]

Ugh. My stomach hurts, I've been having stomach aches since yesterday afternoon, not sure if it's from the lack-of-sleep I went through, something I ate, Yet Another Illness oncoming, or just general stress.

Anyways, I was awake from 10 am on Wednesday until last night when I went to bed Way Too Late at something like 1 am. Oops? Oh well, at least I got plenty of sleep last... nevermind. Anyways, we've had multiple outages and problems at work over the past couple of days, although my guys (and I say that in a non-gender-specific and entirely-fond-of, not-superior way) of course handled everything like the seasoned pros they are, and the unavoidable bits of the problem were simply that: unavoidable (well, more accurately, not-within-our-power to avoid).

I've decided not to go to Europe this spring/summer. Why? Well, because I've decided to move to a new apartment instead. I'm not sure where, exactly, probably Brooklyn or maybe even someplace like Roosevelt Island (upper-east-side location, but not-quite-upper-east-side prices). I need to see what I can afford, and how the neighborhoods and schools are, but if at all possible, I'll be moving in a few months. I hate moving with a passion, but I hate living in NJ with even more of a passion, and moving is only a few weeks of work vs. the years of my life I've lost to this hellhole that is known as NJ.

I've decided that I'm going to resolve the whole CEO thing, for better or for worse, and quickly. I need time to think, strategize, and prepare, but I will work this fucking (excuse my French (does that mean the French are all a bunch of filthy-mouthed cursing bastards? I guess it must.)) thing out for once and for all. If the relationship fails, it will not be my fault, thank you very fucking (French) much. That God-Frenched Frenching Frencher can be as much of a Frenchhole as he wants, but I will rise above it. And if, after all of my selfless and morally and personally superior acts (that was said in a tongue-in-cheek way, mind you) are not enough to turn him around and convince him to stop being a French, and if it continues to make my working environment so unpleasant and hostile that it affects my happiness, then I may very well leave. He's a Mother Frencher, and I'm tired of having things in my life that make me unhappy.

So, NJ - out. CEO - out (or resolved, anyways). Overworking and stressing about it - out (or at least reduced to non-spirit-killing levels).

Up on the list after those (or maybe before, actually) - resolving things with my dad and the kids, both in terms of them directly (ADD?) and in terms of my dad and the way he deals with them (too much yelling, too much anger, too much unpleasantness). It's bothering me more and more over time. Oh, and my finances. Tired of being in debt. Going to try to pay off at least one more card/loan/whatever this year. Physical shape! Got to get in shape, and with my 10 year HS reunion coming up, what better event to use as motivation? We'll see what happens there, in May. I dunno, other stuff too.

Like I said, so much I want (and need, eventually) to say, but so little time to say it. I'm going to be late for work now. Oy.

Yesterday while going to lunch with a coworker and vendor, he asked me if I was still doing the single-father thing and I almost choked. His question, I think, was really about the fatherhood thing, as opposed to the single thing, but the single thing and the various aspects of that have been on my mind muchly recently and it threw me. I recovered, though (and this was pre-food so I didn't literally almost choke so there was no worry there) and we talked about parenthood and Montessori schools and the like and that was all ok.

Anyways. I could sit here writing for hours and really getting into details of the above, but such is life. I gotta get ready for work.

Also, for a change of pace, I'm making this public. Crazy.
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