The right side isn't working. The left is. I wiggled and jiggled and while I was unable to get the right to make noise again, with a bit of jiggling in the place where the cables split to the left and right earbud, I was able to get bits of noise.
So I did what anyone would, I took scissors and knife to them, cut them to bits, stripped the wires, and twisted everything back together in a less-broken way - or so I thought.
The left side? Still working. The right side? Still not.
'tis a conundrum. Indeed. I need to go get a new pair. DAMN THE MAN.