ntang (ntang) wrote,
ntang
ntang

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Relationships in the dot-com era

From: Her
To: Him
Subject: I've been thinking...

Hey Honey. I've been thinking, you know, it might be time that we settle down, start a family. Amazon's been hinting around about it quite a bit recently, and I think it's right. Plus, if we hurry, we could save 60% on the bread maker in my Gold Box!

From: Him
To: Her
Subject: RE: I've been thinking...

I don't know, dear. This all seems a bit sudden. Expedia's been showing me all kinds of great travel plans. It wants me to see the world. The pictures it showed me of Venice - they were gorgeous! It really wants me to see the world, and you know - I trust Expedia. It's never done me wrong before.

From: Her
To: Him
Subject: Re: RE: I've been thinking...

What are you saying? Are you calling my emom^H^H^Hcom a liar? How could you do that? I love Amazon! I can't just ignore it! Don't you care about my feelings?

From: Him
To: Her
Subject: RE: Re: RE: I've been thinking...

No, I didn't mean that at all. I was just saying that Expedia's pointed out how much I haven't seen yet, and I don't think I should discount it! You can't just expect me to throw away all of my dotcom relationships now that we're together. I still need ME time, you can't expect me to just give up my old life for this relationship!

From: Her
To: Him
Subject: What happened to us?

God, what's happened? You're always surfing your Expedia, looking up your web air fares, listening to all of its stories about foreign countries and exotic locales! You've had your "me" time, when is it time for us? A relationship takes time and effort and you need to put in some! Look at this, I've got a baby crib in my Gold Box! A baby crib! How can you say these things?

From: Him
To: Her
Subject: Us? What happened to you?!

Jesus, I haven't been seen Buy.com in weeks! I try to get some time with Expedia and now I'm ignoring us? You know how long its been since I've sat down with a cold beer and caught a game with CNN/SI? God, you're stifling me! I can't do this! Listen to this: "Your Astro.com horoscope says: Him, maybe it's time to pull back on the relationship front. You've committed too much of yourself, and it's time to spend some time alone." You hear that? You know what? We're through!

From: Her
To: Him
Subject: Fine! Fine!

Don't come around here looking for your stuff! If you want it, it'll be on EBAY!
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