Severe caffeine deficiency.
I have since remedied this problem with an immediate and concentrated infusion of caffeine*. My distressed state has already started to improve. Awwww yeah.
* - 2 glasses of coke, a few handfuls of M&M's, and 2 Ferrero Rochet chocolates. Plus a few crackers and one of those diet/nutrition shakes. *shake vibrate shake*