ntang (ntang) wrote,

Awesome spam

I haven't opened it, as I don't generally open spam, but the subject alone was worth mentioning:

Pill to Increase Your Ejaculation by 581%

It's just so classic, in so many ways.

First off, it's so specific, and, uh, impressive...? It's not 200%, it's not 300%, it's five-hundred-and-eighty-one percent. Five hundred and eighty-one.

Of course, as if that wasn't cool enough, you can't forget what it's about. It doesn't promise to trim your fat, or grow your dick, or give you bigger, firmer boobs - it increases your ejaculation. It turns you into a virtual spooge cannon. You don't just pop off, now, you plaster every surface in sight. Almost six times the normal amount. That's enough to "drown small animals" to quote arachne. Man.

Five hundred and eighty one percent.

You can't beat that.

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