ntang (ntang) wrote,

Toilet seats

The toilet seat in my bathroom is weird. It's puffy and squishy.

I think the last tenant was handicapped, or perhaps painfully obese. The bathtub has a handhold screwed into the wall so you won't fall over, and the toilet seat is, rather than the standard hard white plastic, a soft, squishy, uh, thingy. So you sit on it and the air poofs out and it settles in around your butt cheeks.

It's rather disconcerting. When I take a dump, I don't want the seat hugging my ass. Maybe in a nice car, going for a long ride, or maybe if my seat is a member of the opposite sex (although I'd think in that case the positions would be better reversed). There's something almost spooky about it. I'm ridding myself of bodily waste. I want as little touching my ass during that act as possible. A hard plastic oval is fine. A squishy butt-hugging oval is not.

On the other hand, it's more comfortable, in an icky sort of way. Leaves me feeling a bit unclean, though, I feel the need to wipe it and myself more.

I bet you're thrilled I told you that, huh?
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