I mean, shit, I knew conservative Christians were stupid, but this is above and beyond the call. HELLO! CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS! YOU'VE PROVEN YOUR POINT, YOU WIN THE PRIZE, YOU ARE THE DUMBEST BUNCH OF IDIOTS IN THE UNIVERSE! Go home now, please, and leave us all alone.
I say this as a card-carrying Christian (local 2840), myself, so don't think I'm anti-Christian. (Although self-loathing is often highly encouraged in certain stupid branches of the Christian religion, I try to avoid that, it wreaks havoc on my girlish figure.) I just hate idiots, and that includes: idiots that claim to worship the same God I do, idiots that worship other Gods, idiots that drive cars, idiots that walk, idiots that breathe air, and idiots that are dead. Oh, and idiots yet to be born. If you're an idiot, I hate you. These people are idiots. Therefore, I hate them. It's very simple.
``Although the story is fictional, Harry Potter has real-world occult parallels,` said Richard Abanes, author of ``Harry Potter and the Bible: The Menace Behind the Magick.`
``The books present astrology, numerology mediumship, crystal gazing,` he said. ``Kids are enthralled with it. And kids like to copy.`
Abanes embarked on an eight-city tour to promote his book before the Nov. 16 U.S. release of the Potter film, which stars newcomer Daniel Radcliffe as the boy who learns on his 11th birthday he has magical powers.
Right... and that 8 city tour was to sell copies of the book. I'm sure he's collecting no profits from it, and donating all proceeds to a conservative Christian organization, right? RIGHT?
Fortunately, some of my fellow Christians aren't idiots:
``I`m so tired of people saying he`s evil,` says Connie Neal, a Christian author who has investigated the Potter claims. ``They`re choosing to interpret the books in a very selective way.`
Neal fears churchgoing parents will prejudge the books without reading them. She thinks most children won`t be harmed so long as parents help them understand the difference between fantasy and reality.
Christians ``should use the help of God and our own common sense to do our best to be light in the world, not a laughing stock,` she says.
Amen to that.