April 7th, 2002



Been getting a lot done this weekend. Got the kids' spring clothes (and mine) yesterday, had some fun with the kids, watched Shrek with them, and cleaned my room. Still cleaning, now.

I can't say I actually got a huge amount done, but most weekends I'm so tired I just veg out all weekend, and if I'm not that tired I tend to go out with friends to escape. This weekend I spent all weekend with the family, either at the mall doing the shopping, or staying home cleaning, playing with the kids, watching the movie with them, etc. It feels good, I really should do this more often.

I've been taking a step back at work recently; I still work a lot and work hard, but I've been deliberately stopping myself from doing more than I should. I read my email at home and reply to it, but I don't log in and get to work as soon as I see something wrong; I ask the SA's to handle it, or just watch to see what their reaction is, but I can't keep doing everything myself if I expect them to learn to take the initiative. It wears me out, and it doesn't give them a chance to learn to do it for themselves.

All of this dealing with things is improving things noticeably. I have a little more energy, I'm in better moods, and I'm accomplishing a lot more (not necessarily a lot more work, but a lot more life).

Definitely a change for the positive.

On a side note, I've been eating a lot more recently and putting on weight, noticeably. Sigh. I really need to watch that... I put on weight really easily and anytime I stop actively controlling my eating habits I start to bulk up. Bah. I need to start exercising regularly, my metabolism is slow enough even when I am active, when I'm not doing stuff it's pathetic.
  • Current Music
    Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Love Burns (spinner)


You know what I hate most about life, when it comes down to it? Beyond all else?

I hate feeling so powerless to help the people I care about. I hate not being able to do more. I hate seeing and feeling their pain and not being able to stop it.

That is what I hate most about life, beyond all other things.
  • Current Mood
    tired tired