December 9th, 2001


Toilet seats

The toilet seat in my bathroom is weird. It's puffy and squishy.

I think the last tenant was handicapped, or perhaps painfully obese. The bathtub has a handhold screwed into the wall so you won't fall over, and the toilet seat is, rather than the standard hard white plastic, a soft, squishy, uh, thingy. So you sit on it and the air poofs out and it settles in around your butt cheeks.

It's rather disconcerting. When I take a dump, I don't want the seat hugging my ass. Maybe in a nice car, going for a long ride, or maybe if my seat is a member of the opposite sex (although I'd think in that case the positions would be better reversed). There's something almost spooky about it. I'm ridding myself of bodily waste. I want as little touching my ass during that act as possible. A hard plastic oval is fine. A squishy butt-hugging oval is not.

On the other hand, it's more comfortable, in an icky sort of way. Leaves me feeling a bit unclean, though, I feel the need to wipe it and myself more.

I bet you're thrilled I told you that, huh?

Indie Rock Pete

Ok, I absolutely adore Diesel Sweeties (a very excellent web comic).

Recently, a special mini-series came out starring the man we all know and love, Indie Rock Pete. The problem is, it SUCKED. The entire time I read it, I kept eagerly wondering "Ok, when does the good part start? Huh, huh? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Now I find out it was a huge cosmic joke, as there simply WAS NO GOOD PART. It had moments where it verged on being good, but always fell short. It was written and illustrated by guest stars, and what a woefully inadequate job they did.

DS, the original comic, is always 4 panels, short, and sweet. It expresses the joke exquisitely, through a subtle raised eyebrow to illustrate the double-entendre punchline, a brief panel devoid of text to make you pause, whatever. It's funny, it's interesting, and it slowly develops some loveable (if sometimes shallow in an amusing way) characters. The illustrations are done in a wonderfully pixelated way (on purpose) and are direct and easy to understand - they're very comic-strippy, but it works really well.

The Pete miniseries was none of those things. It was long and meandering, with much too much dialogue, most of it not especially well written, and artsy sort of illustrations that might work well in some strips but not one about Pete. There was never any punchline, and never any laughter, but they still managed to avoid any real character development. It was almost depressing, at times, and never laugh out loud funny as DS can be. It was a huge disappointment - it didn't do anything well, other than waste time and a cool domain name.


Next time, I hope Mssr. Stevens has a more direct role - like writing and illustrating it himself. Blarg.

Taking the piss out each other

So my son calls me. "Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom!"

There's a child gate in their doorway, because his younger brother likes to run out of the room and get into trouble; their room is safe and so I let them watch a movie or play together in there sometimes. This only works when they're willing, of course.

Anyways, I told him I'd be right there. Then he says "I really need to go!" "Well, why didn't you tell me before it was urgent?!" "I really need to go!"

So I get up, and go over, and he's jumping and bouncing and shaking half-hysterically. "I need to go!" I look at him, and then take hold of him by the shoulders and stop the upper half of his body from moving, and tell him to look at me, and ask him again, "So why didn't you tell me before it got so bad?" "I really have to go!!!" *shake shake dance jump dance* "WHY - didn't - you - tell - me - before - it - got - so - bad?" I ask.

"I don't know! I really really have to go!" *jitter shake dance dance dance*

"What are you going to do next time?"

"I have to go!" *shudder dance shake shake bump grind*

"WHAT - are - you - going - to - do - next - time?"

"Tell you sooner!"

"Ok." So I lifted him over the gate and let him run into the bathroom. A minute later, he came out, and said "Daddy, my pants are wet."


"How did you get your pants wet?"

"Well, I went to go to the bathroom, and I dunno..."


Daddy 0, Kiddo 1.

(And yes, I'm sure it was at least partially deliberate, he was already in the bathroom, lights on, door closed, when it happened.)
  • Current Music
    Flickerstick - Chloroform The One You Love

Empty nest

Oh, bitter bitter irony.

They all just left - my dad is taking my brother and the kids to the mall. I didn't want to go. I have the house to myself... and suddenly, it feels cold and lonely in here.

After having multiple people in the house other than me for a full week (2 kids, my father, my brother-in-law, and 2 nights either my brother or my friend) straight, it seems too alone. I can't say I really, really mind, but it's just funny after bitching about how crowded and overwhelming it's been having all the people here now that they're gone it seems too empty.

Oh well. It'll be nice to have some time alone. I think I might actually try to be productive and clean up my room some, now that the onslaught that my brother-in-law is, is gone. Maybe I can get it looking halfway like a real room. *gasp*

It's been like I've been running a boarding house this week; in the past 6 nights I've had 8 guest-nights (in the man-hours sense).

It's sort of exhausting, actually.

Now I don't know what to do with myself. Blerg.
  • Current Music
    Pavarotti, Luciano and Domingo, Placido - Recondita Armonia