June 14th, 2001



Had a cup of port and listened to some old Billy Joel songs for a while. Am listening to, actually, I suppose. Then I had some ice cream, and continued to listen to Billy Joel.

Sorry for pissing anyone off. Been a rough night and I'm just not capable of being any other way right now. Oh well, life's tough.

Exhausted. Going to sleep now.
  • Current Mood: tired tired
  • Current Music: Billy Joel - Scenes From An Italian Restaurant

(no subject)

Slept poorly last night. Woke up a few minutes ago sweaty and disoriented.

It figures. My son (the 18 month old) woke up crying last night as I was heading to bed. I ended up spending over an hour up with him before putting him back to bed.

I think sometimes most people would be better off without me. It seems most of the time I end up making things worse, not better. I don't mean everyone, I mean specifically online friends. I do think the boys need me and benefit from me, and I do ok sometimes in real life, but I dunno.

I either have a hell of a sense of timing or I trigger peoples' depression.

I meet someone who may be having a rough time in life, but is doing ok overall, and become friends with them. A few weeks pass. They crash, and crash hard. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I'm beginning to think it's not just a coincidence any more. I'm not talking once. I'm not talking twice, or even three times. Maybe a dozen? 20? More? This seems to be standard operating procedure for the vast majority of people I actually become friends with online.


In other news, I shouldn't even try to read perl before I've woken up, let alone write any.
  • Current Music: Billy Joel - Captain Jack


Wish I could afford to call in sick today, but I can't spare the days. With only 5 a year... I think I've already used 2, maybe 3 so far. Having kids is rough that way.

I feel like crap. Sigh. If I didn't have kids, I'd have called in already and would be back in bed, thinking happy thoughts. Then I'd be bursting out of bed in a panic in around 20 or 30 minutes as I remembered I still have to take the kids to school*. Then I'd drop them off and probably fail to get back to sleep, and spend most of the day either laying in bed or puttering around doing nothing or playing EQ or would go online and work from home.



Maybe it's better that I have kids. ;)

Hey, today's presentation day. Introduction to PHP, by our very own CTO. I'm going, as I don't really know anything about PHP. Spending a couple of hours writing a single PHP script probably doesn't count as actually knowing it, in reality. ;)

* - You may have wondered, "Hey, if he's got no kids, why would he have to take the kids to school?". It's a parallel universe thing. You'd have to be there.
  • Current Music: Billy Joel - New York State Of Mind

She's Always a Woman

She can kill with a smile
she can wound with her eyes
she can ruin your faith with her casual lies
and she only reveals what she wants you to see
she hides like a child but she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
she can take you or leave you
she can ask for the truth but she'll never believe
and she'll take what you give her as long as its free
yeah she steals like a thief but she's always a woman to me

oh she takes care of herself
she can wait if she wants
she's ahead of her time

oh and she never gives out
and she never gives in
she just changes her mind

and she'll promise you more than the garden of eden
then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
but she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be
blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a woman to me

oh she takes care of herself
she can wait if she wants
she's ahead of her time

oh and she never gives out
and she never gives in
she just changes her mind

she is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
she can do as she pleases she's nobody's fool
and she can't be convicted she's earned her degree
and the most she will do is throw shadows at you
but she's always a woman to me.

-- Billy Joel, She's Always a Woman

Love that song.
  • Current Music: Billy Joel - She's Always A Woman

Call to arms

Ok, people. Read this: http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=5242709

And then go vote.

This is actually important, people. Please take the time to read this and support LJ, damnit. A lot of people have put a lot of work into making this site we all use and love, now let's get out and WIN THE DAMN AWARD!

Also, please take the time to throw up a message in your LJ and encourage others to. If 1/2 of my friends do that, and 1/2 of each of your friends follow suit, and so on and so forth... we'll have the biggest win the Webbies have ever seen. :)

free 'za

Cool, one of the companies we partner with just sent over 15 pizzas to celebrate the launch of our BP Dating section. Nifty.

It's weird, though... very very thin crust, seems to be whole wheat, definitely more hand-made than a "normal" pizza. I bet it costs way more than normal pizza. Not worth way more, although it is pretty good. :)

So thin it's like eating nothing, though. I have a feeling after 3 slices I'll still be hungry. Sigh.



The 5 year old was being difficult about dinner again.

As a treat I decided to take them down to the deli and get them something nice for dinner. I was tired and certainly not in the mood to deal with cooking, and the 5 year old asked if we could. Since this morning and last night and the day and night before he ate without complaints, I figured a treat might be nice, show him that good behavior is rewarded. Right?

So we go down to the deli, and I blew way more than I can afford to spend, getting two pieces of chicken parmesan for him (and a little leftoverage), some ziti, a piece of salmon w/ banana honey sauce for me, and some little side things - a yogurt cup for him, some gatorade for him, a couple of bananas for the baby, and a root beer for me. It was about $25, which is a lot of money, but I figured I get paid tomorrow and deposited the tax refund yesterday and while I can't afford to waste money, once isn't going to kill us.

So I bring it upstairs, and the kids share the bananas while I heat up the food. Then I give J his chicken and ziti and he eats it, except for the pile of tomatoes and vegetables he leaves left over. So I scraped it all together, and split it, into piles 1/3 and 2/3 of the total amount. I then told him he had to eat the 1/3 pile, which came to maybe 2 tablespoons of vegetables in tomato sauce. Not exactly difficult, right?

Well, let's just say it did not go well, and now I'm in a royally bad mood and he's in bed without dessert and is back in trouble again.

Sigh. Why does he have to do this? Damn stubbornness, he gets it from both sides, and it just pisses me off sometimes. I don't think he even knows WHY he's misbehaving - he just feels compelled NOT to do what he's told. I saw the same pointless stubbornness in my wife, she admitted it, too, she knew - she had a mule-like stubbornness and if she decided she didn't want to play along, no matter what was asked or demanded of her she'd refuse to the bitter end, even if it was something she'd normally want.

Gleh. He's got that too. In spades.

The salmon was pretty good.
  • Current Music: No Doubt - New