I saw footage of people rushing into the scene to help, I watched a doctor going through the clouds of ash and debris and risking his life to be there to help people. I've seen hundreds of firemen and policemen and others dive into the fray to do anything they could to help, and over 250 of them never came out again. How can I live with myself knowing that they gave their very lives and I was safe and sitting at home taking care of my children when these people are out there screaming and in pain and needing help and I wasn't there to help them?
HOW?!
I wish I knew. The only thing that's brought me close to tears is the shame of knowing that there are people out there that need help desperately and I'm not one of the people out there helping them. I talked about being strong and continuing on with life but this isn't enough. Just continuing isn't enough. Hundreds, thousands of people lost their lives. I can't just continue on as if nothing happened.
i don't know what to do.