ntang (ntang) wrote,

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Losing my religion

Religion's funny. People have such intense feelings about it but sometimes you wonder if they ever really think about it.

I was talking with a friend a few days ago and the conversation drifted into the topic of religion. How? Why? I don't remember. I think it's because he asked me about being ordained.

So anyways, it got me thinking about my religion. Ostensibly I'm a Christian - episcopal denomination. Not just ostensibly, I am a Christian, but I think most 'Christians''s would doubt that.

I believe in God, but I don't believe all non-Christians are going to hell. I don't think there's anything wrong with not believing in God. I think that pretty much all religions are valid. Why can't there be different interpretations of God? So what if I call him God and you call him Buddha and he calls him Gaia and she calls him Fearsome Freddy from Frisco?

The way I see it, briefly, is that there's some higher power out there - there are just too many things that science can't explain. I'm not superstitious but I do believe that not everything is logical, that there are things that you have to escape conventional thought to explain. I choose to perceive that force, that entity, as the Christian God, the holy trinity, whatever. If someone else perceives it differently, it's just a matter of perception. It's not that they're worshipping some pagan idol and are going to burn in hell for it. To Hell with that (har har). If God is Love, how could the very embodiment of Love be so petty and hateful? He's supposed to be forgiving.

There's more to it, but once again, I find myself tired and on the verge of passing out so I'm going to have to cut this short. The point is I'm not your "typical" missionary obsessed Christian. I believe that your faith is more important than wearing a cross or making it to church every Sunday. I think that people will get to Heaven or Hell based on their actions and motivations, not on what name they refer to God by.

The whole thing just bothers me. How could any God that inspired Christianity actually agree with something like the crusades? That's preposterous. I think most of Christianity has been corrupted and the message misinterpreted and misreported by the messengers. I think most Christians aren't bright or aware or concerned enough to even really think about their religion, and if they were they'd be horrified by some of the things they found.

It's actually rather like living in the US - I think in a lot of ways we're living in the best country in the world, but we still have a huge number of flaws. One of the biggest flaws we have is that we're becoming the most complacent country in the world as well. While I don't necessarily agree with all the people rioting and fighting in the world I just can't see most of that ever happening in the US, with or without a valid cause. Most Christians seem to be the same way - they call themselves Christians, they wear a cross or go to church or whatever, but how often do they actually try to live up to the ideals portrayed in the religion? How many are honest and loyal and faithful and hard working and defend and help those with less than them and forgive those who wrong them or anything else we're supposed to be doing?

It's sad, and disgusting.

*yawn* I'm tired. Tempted to delete this, writing something like this when I'm tired is a bad idea. Oh well. G'nite.

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